


Motes & Motors: Sunshine and Stars

by martieek



Series: Motes & Motors [8]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Brief Sensuality, Established Relationship, Late Night Conversations, M/M, Memories, Stargazing, Vulnerability, but we'll explore those later, shiro has a lot of misguided feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-15
Updated: 2018-05-15
Packaged: 2019-05-07 11:49:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14670477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/martieek/pseuds/martieek
Summary: It'll be a while before Shiro is able to open himself to Matt entirely, but Matt can be patient when needed.  He takes Shiro with him down memory lane--figuratively, and kind of literally.





	Motes & Motors: Sunshine and Stars

**Author's Note:**

> In a previous installment, it was mentioned briefly that Matt and Shiro had almost-done the sex a several times but Shiro would be unable to go through with it (for reasons that I would like to try and explain with yet another fic rather than just exposition in a footnote). I wanted to write about an example of one of those times!
> 
>  
> 
> [(Motes & Motors Playlist)](https://open.spotify.com/user/asilverboy/playlist/2q1FmNMVJZJSTvNNbhNTdN?si=6WIBcdhSQzysrtg4sYfIiw)

Matt wondered if passenger seat sex was considered sleazy if it was in your boyfriend’s truck, but he realized he didn’t care when Shiro’s hands held him close and firm at the hips.

Matt relished the way his mouth melded to Shiro’s, hot and searching as they started peeling off each other’s jackets.  A soft moan in the back of Shiro’s throat was almost enough to make Matt delirious as he grinded into his lap.  He smiled against Shiro’s lips before moving his own to his neck, and Shiro’s grip on Matt’s hips tightened, wanting.

The friction in their jeans alone could have easily launched Matt over the edge if it had kept up like that, but Shiro effortfully pulled away from him—not by much, given the limited space, but enough for Matt to get the point.

“What’s wrong?” Matt panted.  He tried to blink the hunger stars out of his eyes as he sought Shiro’s, but his were downcast.  His flushed cheeks and lips were not helping Matt’s downstairs situation, but recognizing the discomfort in Shiro’s expression certainly did the trick.

Matt tried to regain some composure so his sincerity was more apparent through his breaths.  “Hey,” he said, cupping Shiro’s face with his hands, “it’s okay; we can stop if you don’t want to.”

Shiro was breathing heavier too, but Matt wasn’t sure if that was his doing or something else when Shiro couldn’t meet Matt’s gaze.  “It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s just—”  He took a deep breath; Matt thought he looked pained.

“Here,” said Matt, climbing off Shiro and maneuvering most ungracefully to the driver’s seat, twisting to face Shiro as much as he could.  “That’s probably better.  What’s up, buttercup?”  Matt’s heart rate was slowing down, head mostly cleared, but he was swallowing against a light fog of disappointment.

Shiro seemed to be feeling even worse than Matt, rubbing at his eyes with distress, and Matt quickly got over his own shallow desires.  “Hey,” he said again, resting a hand on Shiro’s arm.  “Talk to me.”

“I’m sorry, I’m not—I don’t know if—I don’t think I—Not right now.”

“Shiro, it’s okay.”  Matt didn’t understand why Shiro was so desperately distraught over this.  Obviously it was deeper than just nerves, but he seemed too upset to elaborate.  Matt reached out his other arm, leaning forward awkwardly, and took Shiro’s hands in his own to finally draw his gaze upward. 

Shiro practically insisted on tripping over his own words.  “It’s not that I—It’s not you; I’m not—”

“Will you breathe for a second?” Matt egged with compassion, moving a hand back to Shiro’s face.  “I’m not gonna force you to explain yourself.”

Of course Matt’s dumb brain had initially jumped to the conclusion of _he’s not actually attracted to me_ , but he forced the thought away.  Matt couldn’t have been imagining the way Shiro would look at him, how easily he always melted into Matt’s touches.  But there was still a lot about Shiro that Matt didn’t know, and curious though he was, he would never pressure Shiro into anything—conversationally or otherwise.  There was no rush; they would always have time.

Matt tried to convey all of that with an encouraging smile.  Shiro relaxed some, no longer grasping at the first words that came to his mind, but Matt could still see some deep conflict or another in his eyes.

Matt pursed his lips with consideration, and then he decided.  “Gimme the keys,” he demanded casually, holding out a grabby hand.

Immediately, Shiro’s expression grew bewildered.  “Wh—Uh, they’re still in the ignition.  What d—”

“I have an idea; just put on your seat belt and trust me.”

 

* * *

 

Of course Shiro trusted Matt.  It was just that his unpredictability could be a bit jarring at times—especially when Matt insisted on not providing any details of his impulsive plans whatsoever.

They rode in silence for a while.  Shiro felt awkward at first, but the more he realized Matt wasn’t at all uncomfortable, the more relaxed Shiro felt in turn.  Before long it was like any other drive on any other evening.

“Up there,” Shiro said, breaking about an hour of silence with unexpected ease.  He pointed to a closely-spaced pair of the night’s first stars.  They were exquisitely bright and brought Shiro an odd sense of comfort.  “They were the first ones I saw; I think we each get a wish.”

Matt clucked his tongue, keeping his eyes mostly on the road between glancing at the stars and Shiro.  Smiling, he corrected, “Those are alien headlights,” as if Shiro had made a simple mistake.  “We don’t have to make a wish; they’re already on their way to tell us everything’ll be alright.”

He had said it so matter-of-factly that it took Shiro a second to register the actual words.  Matt kept his eyes ahead as Shiro blinked at him in appreciative wonder. 

The silence resumed, but Shiro felt much warmer this time.

 

* * *

 

Matt only made one stop along the highway, running into a lonely supermarket to grab a bag of snacks and drinks, a cheap-looking blanket tucked under his arm.  He shoved the stuff into Shiro’s lap, hopping back into the driver’s seat, offering little more context than, “Almost there.”

He wasn’t lying.  Shortly after, Matt had pulled off along a quiet dirt road that did not seem oft traveled.  Shutting off the ignition, Matt patted Shiro’s shoulder before getting out of the truck.  “Come on.”

Shiro obeyed, stretching thoroughly before grabbing the things Matt had bought.  “Where are we?” he asked at last, looking around in the dark.  The sky was perfectly clear, a waxing moon casting a silver light across a dewy hillscape.  They were far from light pollution, and the Milky Way unraveled above.  He couldn’t see any, but Shiro heard the flow of water in the distance.

“Back here,” Matt called, drawing Shiro’s attention to the bed of the truck where Matt had already climbed.  He held out a hand, and Shiro passed him the bag and blanket.

“This,” Matt explained as he spread the blanket over the truck bed, “is close enough to the campsite my parents took me and Pidge to as kids.  I think the landowners built a cabin at the actual spot, but I figure this’ll do just as well.”

Shiro rested his arms on the tailgate, watching with curiosity.  “Do what?”

“We’re gonna watch the sunrise.”  Matt sounded like Shiro should have known that all along despite Matt’s saying nothing.  He settled in, patting the space next to him to encourage Shiro to climb in as well.

“Many eons ago,” began Matt as he and Shiro lie back together, “if anyone at home had a bad day—no matter the reason—Dad would drive us all out here.  We were away from noise, away from electronics and people and the world; it was just us.

“We would stay awake together the whole night: talking about nothing important, making a fire, eating gross food, playing games by the water… Y’know, just, having a good time.  Then, every morning, when the sun finally came up, Mom would take a picture of it to keep as a reminder for us that no matter how dark a day seemed, there would always be a new one.”

Shiro had watched Matt’s face in the dim light of the sky as he spoke, listening intently but also transfixed by how soft he looked.  Matt’s tone was so casual and light, but when he turned his head to look back at Shiro, his smile seemed tired, vulnerable.

Shiro wasn’t sure what to say, but Matt went on as if there had been no pause, hardly ever breaking eye contact.  “I think she has a scrapbook of all the sunrises with cheesy, vague captions relevant to why we had gone that time.”  He shrugged against the nostalgia.  “But, y’know, Dad got promoted, I went to school, _e la vita._ So we’ve stopped coming, but I’ve been meaning to revisit for a while.  Guess I was just waiting for the right time.  Sadly,” he laughed, “I don’t have a retro film camera like Mom used, but the ol’ cell phone should get the job done.”

Matt gave no sign of having more to say, and Shiro was still trying to think of something worth vocalizing as he stared at Matt.  But, Shiro admitted, Matt had never been one to make him feel obligated to fill a silence, so Shiro let the easy quiet set in, daring to entwine his fingers with Matt’s.

Abruptly, Matt sat upright, his air of delicacy gone.  “Of course, if we just lie down like this, we’re gonna fall asleep, and that’s not the point.  So, come on.  Up.”

 

* * *

 

It was like Matt had been planning this for days with the way he managed keep Shiro at ease in conversation.  Though he spoke openly, he never asked Shiro anything too personal.  But, as the night went on and their guards fell with their inhibition, they both ended up casually oversharing in response to whatever came up during the natural-feeling exchanges.

Matt never made it anything other than comfortable, but Shiro still didn’t want to discuss everything about his life; holding back had become habit at this point.  Their conversations remained more of the late-night philosophical kind: deep but vague.  Occasionally, stupid jokes were made—impractical concepts and laughing too hard at things they couldn’t even remember.

Matt had no hesitation about moving closer to Shiro, but it was an innocent intimacy.  They leaned into each other’s shoulders, Matt tracing mathematical equations into Shiro’s palm for him to guess at before Matt was too tired to hold himself upright.

When Matt moved to lie back down, Shiro playfully wrapped an arm around him for support.  “Oh, no,” Shiro teased as Matt laughed at nothing in particular.  “This was _your_ idea.  We’re staying awake _together_.”

“I wasn’t gonna sleep!” Matt protested, kissing the hand Shiro had draped over his shoulder.  “Human heads are just very heavy and my poor spine needs a break.”

Shiro pressed his lips to Matt’s temple, feeling light as air.  “We need to get you into that weight training you were talking about.”  However, he granted Matt the relief of lying back down, keeping him close as they nestled in together.

The sugar rush from the sodas and snacks they had split had faded, but they adamantly fought the crash with small challenges.  Shiro quizzed Matt on the names of stars, and Matt always had an answer that Shiro would accept without question, regardless of how ridiculous the names became.  Matt had Shiro make up brand new constellations on the spot, lore and all.  Matt seemed genuinely impressed with the improvised narratives despite Shiro barely registering what his own mouth was saying.

Though it seemed too fast, dawn had very gradually crept forward.  The silhouette of the treeline became sharper, birds filling the sky with song as the stars faded.  Matt and Shiro weren’t out of things to say, but they were incapable of summoning the energy to form many coherent sentences.

Shiro had been so busy appreciating the ethereal twilight glow over Matt that he didn’t notice how quiet they’d become until Matt spoke again.  “Almost there,” he said with unbridled exhaustion, a limp arm gesturing to the east.

“First to fall asleep loses,” Shiro instigated, his own need for sleep cracking his voice as he played with Matt’s hair.

“You forget I’ve trained for this.”

“I think you underestimate me.”

Shiro was just making playful banter, of course, but Matt’s expression sobered.  He shook his head and said softly, “Not at all,” as he traced a tired finger over Shiro’s face.

Shiro pulled Matt closer, his head warm against Shiro’s night-cooled face.  It was a gesture mostly meant to hide what Shiro knew had to be his own expression of raw emotion.  He only _knew_ that was his expression because he knew lack of sleep made feelings stronger, and his throat had tightened.

Matt draped an arm over Shiro’s waist, and they lie quietly like that as the sky brightened further and faint sounds of traffic in the far distance became more frequent.  Pink stained the horizon, and soon after the sun finally broke the surface with carnelian radiance.  It felt like the whole world took its first breath, and so did Shiro.

Speechless from it all, Shiro broke from his trance to look at Matt.  He meant to remind him of taking the photo like he’d mentioned, but Shiro could only smile with a fullness in his chest upon seeing Matt fast asleep.

Feeling renewed, Shiro pulled out his own phone instead to photograph the beautiful morning sight to remember.

 

* * *

 

Matt decided Shiro had to be inhuman to at least _some_ degree—he had practically drug Matt back into the truck cab and drove him home without stopping.

Had Matt been in a little less of a stupor, he would have been a nervous wreck about Shiro behind the wheel without any sleep.  When they pulled up to Matt’s house with neither of them dead, though, he decided to let this one slide.

Maybe Matt kissed Shiro goodbye; he couldn’t be at all sure as he collapsed onto his living room couch, asleep before his head had even hit the cushions.

Six hours later, Matt regained consciousness.  He checked his phone via habit and saw the notification: _Takashi Shirogane sent a photo message._

Opening it, Matt grinned.  It was a photo of himself, asleep in the bed of Shiro’s truck with the caption: _Thanks, sunshine xx_

**Author's Note:**

> So I know the whole stargazing on a back road thing is such a country-girl-instagram cliche lmao, but dammit Matt and Shiro deserve all the happy dumb cliches possible, let my boys SMILE.
> 
> Actually, for a long time I've been wanting to write the whole Matt planning a "stay awake together and watch the sunrise" night but he ends up falling asleep instead, but I couldn't find the right context but I managed to inadvertently fit it into this AU! :^D
> 
> Also I absolutely stole the "alien headlights" bit from the song "The First Thing I See" by Imaginary Future because when I first heard that line I screamed because it was exactly a Matt line and I could not have written anything better for him myself
> 
> u can hang out with me on tumblr @sewerpigeon or my art blog @martieek! :^)


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